Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
