She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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