I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
