Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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