i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just forgot I was standing up.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
