Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
