So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
