How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
