Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
