remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
