Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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