I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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