she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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