I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
