I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
