i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
