Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
