I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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