i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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