She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
