is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
