Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
