What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
