Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
