I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
