You just made me feel so damn special
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think people are normalizing furries
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
