She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
