Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
