they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
