I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
