I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
