its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
