let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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