i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
