dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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