let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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