just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
