you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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