Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think I sprained my soul last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
