Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
