you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
