He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
