when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
