i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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