please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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