remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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