U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
