My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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