This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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