He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
this is an emotional support booty call
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
