Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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